Charmaine Wilson is a medium and the winner of Channel 7′s “The One“. After years of abuse and surviving the grief of losing her daughter and a friend, Charmaine has discovered her goddess within.
When I was a young girl approaching my teens I was a confused rebellious spirit, who at the ripe old age of 13 had seen more than my fair share of pain. My parents had divorced when I was five. My mum was always in poor health with her asthma and because of this spent most of her time in bed. She loved me but was not overly affectionate however I craved cuddles and affection and this craving led to me being sexually abused at age seven.
When you are seven it is very hard to distinguish right from wrong and with the abuser making me feel I did something wrong and wicked to deserve this I became distrustful and introverted until I reached aged 14.
At that age I discovered I could get affection with boys and my already low self esteem reached gutter level when I was crucified as the town bike. I did not feel like a Goddess and I did not feel human at all. I despised myself with a passion and something grew inside me.
It was a longing to find relief in this world where I could fit, where I felt good. At age 14 I found drugs and alcohol and all of a sudden nothing much mattered. I was booted out of school at age 15 and to be honest it was good not to be taunted with the names and abuse. I was glad to be away from those who had absolutely no idea of how I felt. But still this longing to be loved lurked within me and then I found a boy and by the time I was 16, I believed I had found something that would forever take away the lonely pain, I was pregnant.
When my daughter was born I no longer clung to the drugs in quite the same way I had, I still puffed on pot but alcohol was proving to be a hindrance with my baby’s father drinking heavily all the time and then he would abuse me. The name calling began again, the emotional abuse unbearable. The Goddess was still a long way into the future.
We separated and I was glad to be rid of him but his poison reached out to embrace me again when in an alcoholic stupor he killed my daughter in a drunken driving accident when she was visiting him. It was then I found alcohol again. I found it numbed the pain and then it dug right in and created more.
Losing a child is the hardest death to bear. My daughter was four and a half. She was beautiful and the last time I saw her she was in a coffin.
I became dependant on alcohol for many years. I was a weekend binge drinker and when I drank, I drank with a seriousness that would black me out and turn me into a monster. Personally I never met the monster I became, but many others did. The Goddess had not arrived yet.
Life moves on and more children were born but the wound was unhealed and the pain always just below the surface. The father of my current children tried for 12 years but the alcohol won and we went our separate ways.
Then I found speed (Amphetamines). Then I went to hell.
Whatever Goddess I had been disappeared completely as the drug began to rule my life. And then when I lost my kids, my house, my car, my soul the voices began.
At first I thought it was drugs so I straightened up. I couldn’t take it.
The voices stayed. I was still going for custody of my son’s and could not afford to go to mental health so basically I learned to live with the chatter. After eight months clean and still listening to these strange voices I decided to listen to what they said. They fixed me. They taught me to grow up and take responsibility for my life. The taught me to stop feeling so sorry for myself and pointed out my worst enemy was me. The Goddess started to emerge!
It took a while to figure out it was the spirit world and I was a medium but when I did the Goddess stepped up and took over and when she arrived knowing she could help other bereaved parents face their path there was absolutely no stopping her .
This was in 2002. I trembled and shook through the first reading I did but did so with an accuracy that blew the clients away and I have never looked back. Inside of me is the Goddess of self belief.
Since that time I have only ever wavered in my self-belief in 2008 when my ex boyfriend committed suicide. As a medium I was shattered that I did not know the exact time and therefore stop it. As a friend, because we were best friends, I felt incompetent as I had not heard his silent screams and as a woman I found myself hating all I stood for. I ate and I ate and I ate until I blew out to a whopping 75 kilograms.
The Goddess of self belief shrunk into me and did not show her face until I found a most wonderful book – The Goddess DIET (by Anita Revel). I did shed five kilograms with this book and though I have put in on again in the silly season and the anniversaries of my mate and mum, I am now quickly, with the help of the book shedding it. The tips and quotes in this book keep popping into my head to remind me that the Goddess of self belief is waiting to reappear. Already down three kilograms!!
I have recently released my second book, Spirit Children, which encompasses all my guides taught me during my journey of grief, it is a book for anyone who has faced the death of a loved one and who wishes to understand why life has been so cruel.
It is a book which takes you on the continuing story of my life and where you will meet the parents of the Spirit Children who have inspired me.
You see Life goes on after death and this is what the spirit children wish for us to know. They are never far from our side and we are eternally connected.
The Goddess of self belief has taught me so much and it is this goddess I take on stage, whom assisted me when I won the television search for Australia’s most gifted psychic in 2008 The One, who has taught me I have what it takes to make a difference and thanks to the wonderful Anita – it is this Goddess who has once again shown her beautiful face to the world and is ready to help find that Goddess in others.