Fix your self-esteem in 4 easy steps

As a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, I use some NLP techniques in my Goddess For Life coaching programs. They are very useful for making you aware of how your brain is functioning, and how you can consciously train it to think another way… 

To get an idea of how NLP works, here is an article by Shlomo Vaknin, which describes an exercise to stop the flow of negative images, and at least for the present, will guide your mind back to the right tracks…

Step 1: Create an image of you as if you see yourself from the outside. Just for a few moments, try to imagine what would you look like if you saw yourself standing or sitting there, next to your computer, staring at the screen. Imagine the clothes you are wearing right now, the color of your hair and eyes, the facial expressions, the posture, the general look of you in a dissociated image.

Step 2: Adjust that image to present a positive look, even mildly positive. Ignore the little flaws that normally would catch your eyes in the mirror, and see the big picture, you as a whole person, sitting there on the chair, looking at these words, feeling some sort of serenity even just a little bit, it will grow stronger in a few moments.

Keep adjusting the image; play with sub modalities – make the image brighter, make it larger, play a quiet song you like in the background (only in your mind), make your image-self smile softly, enlarge any of your strong and positive characteristics.

The idea in step 2 is to maximise the positive points in you and minimise the negative ones. Keep working on that image, changing small details one at a time to make it a beautiful positive and accurate representation of who you really are.

Step 3: Exaggerate. We are all doing it in the negative side of our lives, making every little flaw a huge setback, a zit becomes a huge sign saying “look at me”, the few cellulite bumps on our belly makes us believe everyone are starring at our fat-self. Of course it’s not real, so why not doing it for our own benefit?

Exaggerate the positive sides of you. You have blue eyes that everyone adore? Make them brighter and larger. You like your nose best? Focus on it. You have a great sense of humour, imagine how good you’d feel having other people smile from your words. Make it big, sensational and positive. There is no one way better, just play with it.

Step 4: Make that image more powerful by comparing it with the image you made in step 1. You can tell the differences because you did a lot to change the image. What is the difference in feelings? Where are those feelings located? Compare the images and approve to yourself that the second image, the more positively powerful one, is the one you’d like to keep with you today.

Note: This is not a one-time-fix exercise. You will want to practice and play with this short by powerful exercise as many times as you need. It is especially useful when you want to lighten up your day, maybe after an emotional event, a time when you feel down and want to cheer up. It is a simple but useful way to make you feel good, for a change.